How I fell in love with fashion
I think fashion is often misunderstood to be purely superficial. It’s ironic since the fellow fashion lovers I know love it for reasons that have nothing to do with being materialistic or shallow.
Fashion is an art form like music. Each person has their own unique tastes & interpretations of it. This is the story of what fashion means to me.
Once upon a time, this little mermaid fell in love with fashion. It all started with my mom. She was my first role model, style icon & personal stylist. My mom is one of the most charismatic people I know & her style is another way her lively personality shines brightly.
Before I was born, she had prepared for my arrival with matching outfits & accessories for us to take pictures in together (lol she really prepped me for that influencer life). Little baby me had one too many hats with sunflowers, but I adored them because of her.
Playing dress-up in my mom’s closet was one of my favorite ways to learn more about her. I still love to look at old photos & see how her style evolved. My mom radiated so much joy & enthusiasm talking about fashion, I couldn’t help but feel happy when we’d choose outfits together.
She’d explain why she chose an outfit to me before I was old enough to fully understand. Whether it be a change in weather, a new color she was drawn to, or her mood for the day, she always dressed intentionally. I was enchanted by her daily routine of getting ready, how she would apply her bold berry lip & slip into her perfectly styled outfit.
My mom & I still passionately talk about fashion. We bond over discussing how beautifully someone styled or designed pieces that inspire us. Even if we’re far apart, we FaceTime each other to ask for outfit advice. She screenshots clothes she sees online & puts post-its in magazines to show me outfit ideas. Her thoughtfulness is heartwarming & our special quality time makes me feel loved.
To me, fashion is a love language and passion I learned from my mom.
In elementary to high school, I was jealous of people who got to choose their own clothes while I was stuck with my private school uniform of specifically three options: 1) a polo shirt 2) Dickies pants 3) navy or plaid skirts. It created an even greater longing to express myself in any way I could through accessories.
My shoe, sweater & hair accessories collection grew rapidly. As an underclassman in high school, I wore (ridiculous) headbands every day. It was to the point that when I got over my phase & stopped, my Spanish teacher concernedly asked about my well-being. I’m not exaggerating when I say I probably had as many headbands as Blair Waldorf!
Free dress day in private school was used as an incentive to behave & do well academically. When we were given the chance, my friends & I wore our best outfits because when else would we get to? In retrospect it’s kind of hilarious how seriously we took it, but at the time it was refreshing to be able to choose for ourselves.
This is also why dances were such a big deal to me in high school. As I got older, I grew way more concerned with finding the perfect dress than finding the perfect date for dances. It’s probably why I’m still strongly drawn to dresses.
I’d spend a whole day in Downtown LA’s Fashion District to hunt down the dress that would fit a look I dreamed up. For my senior prom, I chose a dark teal, beaded gown that gave me 1920s mermaid vibes. I might have been more excited about the dress than the prom itself.
Dressing in a uniform for most of my school years challenged me to discover my personal style & add my own flair, even when I was dressed like everyone else. It taught me to embrace opportunities to stand out & make the most out of any day by boldly being myself.
To me, fashion is the freedom to express all the nuances of myself creatively, without restriction.
As an adult, I got to a point where I was very jaded. I was so overwhelmed by balancing my relationships & work, that I didn’t take the best care of myself physically or mentally. My energy was depleted & I felt like no matter how much I overextended myself, it’d never be enough to keep up with life. I was my own last priority.
My anxiety could be momentarily silenced by little things that reconnected me with my passions, reviving my hopeful energy. I’d go into work early to make it in time for my favorite hip-hop class at night. I wrote cathartic, personal poetry. I browsed fashion brands online during my breaks. One daily ritual I looked forward to most was choosing my outfit.
When I was stuck in a dark place, being able to choose how I presented myself was an empowering reminder that I get to decide the type of woman I want to be every day. Whether I was nervous for a big meeting or self-conscious trying a new hobby, I’d wear an outfit I loved & feel not 100% okay, but better & more willing to just try. I wasn’t just dressing for success. I was dressing to destress.
Even if I didn’t feel as put together on the inside, it motivated me to get out of the house when I felt like I couldn’t. It encouraged me to stand up a little taller when I felt small & was the first step in the inner work that led me to the other side of a difficult time. For me, healing came in the form of small steps that eventually led me back to the light.
Not everyone may find fashion as therapeutic as I do, but it was a catalyst to my healing & is a form of my self-care.
Fashion is about so much more than the clothes themselves. To me, fashion is a reminder to protect my energy and be a good friend to myself, too. It’s a self-care routine that impacts my mindset in a meaningful way. It’s trying my best to embody my highest self, and see beyond my temporary circumstances.
Thank you for taking the time to learn about me and my journey. And I’d love to know, is fashion therapeutic for you? What does fashion mean to you? What does your personal style express about you? And who first inspired your style when you were younger?
